This season, try one of these 17 EASY Conversation Starters.

The icebreakers below are deceptively easy as they can be answered by ANYONE or at least by MOST and can lead to conversation depths just as good as those that are more sophisticated. Try them this holiday season!  (Notice that every closed question has a follow-up probe to keep the conversation going.)

1. I’m (YOUR NAME) and you are…? (What a great name. Is that a family name?)
2. How do you know the host (owner, etc.)?
3. Have you been in the area long? (If not, where, and if so, what keeps you here?)
4. Do you live nearby? ( Don’t probe too much here; a general idea is fine.)
5. That (tie, necklace, etc.) looks great on you. Where did you get it?
6. I like the music; do you? (And if so or not, why?)
7. Have you been to the new place in town (restaurant, bank, etc.)?
8. Are you a sports fan? (Ok, what team and what game?)
9. Do you play music? (if yes or no, why and what)
10. Is your family nearby? (Don’t probe too much here; if not, where?)
11. I hope they have (type of dessert). Are you a pie person or a cake?
12. The service here is excellent. (Do you agree? Why or why not?)
13. Was the parking difficult? Did they have valet? (Did you drive?)
14. You remind me of my cousin Sam. Do you also like (camping, birding, etc.)?
15. Do you like winter? (How about snow shoveling?)
16. Would you say you like to exercise? (If yes or no, why?)
17. Do you use a shopping list for presents or are you a last-minute buyer? (Why?)

These ideas present a few samples.

They are just a reminder that the simplest questions are often the best ways to start a conversation!

Thanks to photographer Kevin Curtis with unsplash for this conversational photo!

Join me for a revealing look at how speaker style at the turn of the century has transcended time.  Inspired by a vintage textbook of readings entitled Tommy’s Second SPEAKER for Little Boys and Girls, I will uncover FIVE TIME-TRAVELED TIPS that speaker coaches have been using for generations.

But first, a bit of backstory – I, a longtime speaker coach, discovered Tommy’s yellowed but cared for text in a thrift shop in Woodstock Illinois – published at the turn of the century –exact date and editor unknown. Of course I had to buy it!

The opening lines surprised me – as they may you.

THE OPENING LINES

“When a young lady just from boarding school makes a curtsy so profoundly pronounced that you instantly think of the school, she overdoes it”…“When a public speaker’s tones and gestures recall the ‘elocution class, he is lacking in something.”

What Tommy was learning in 1895 is not that different from what I would hope my clients would practice and that is  – being authentic. The meaning of authenticity is talked about a lot today; in fact, after noting a particularly large number of searches on the word, Merriam Webster designated “Authentic” as the Word of the Year 2023.  The dictionary definition of the term is “of undisputed origin; genuine.”

For a speaker, authenticity shines through with a balance of sincere content and natural delivery. What follows are FIVE TIME TRAVELED TIPS  – cited in this vintage text and modernized and simplified by me!

FIVE TIME TRAVELED TIPS

#1 Share your natural personality.

(As previously quoted, look like a natural – not stiffly trained).

#2 Stand erectly and confidently.

From the Second Speaker: “An honest man full of a just idea and bent on imparting it to others utters his mind with his body at a half-bend. He would have made this effort more impressive if he had stood erect. He would have been better if he had been taught to stand up and speak.”

#3 Find and convey the variety in your natural voice.

As the Second Speaker notes: “He began his sentences well enough but those of them of which he meant to be solemn and oppressive  he wound up in a key so low that he became inaudible.” “Nature gives us a musical voice. Art trains it.”

#4 Look at your audience more than your notes.

And the Second Speaker says: “The man who reads from a paper is commonly at a little disadvantage, unless he has been well trained to do his work. His eye must be on the paper a great deal and his head bent towards it and in some notably bad cases the effort to look at the paper and then stand up and give out to the people what has been  taken in.”

#5 Be a cheerleader for your topic.

Tommy’s Speaker puts it so: “Many a man has great properties within him  but they have never had justice done them and he has not risen to the limit of his possible usefulness.”

Public speaking is not a new endeavor. Yet, across centuries, there are very similar traits of excellence. Below is an actual  Speaker Exercise From Tommy’s Second Speaker (page 16 ) It is called, “Write to the old folks” Try practicing this verse (as Tommy did) using the Time Traveled Tips. And then contact someone at home who misses you.

Don’t go to the theater, concert or ball, but stay in your room to-night.

Deny yourself to the friends that call

And a good long letter write.

Write to the sad old folks at home who sit when the day is done, With folded hands and downcast eyes and think of the absent one.